you may well ask, and you may not like the truth.

because one should tweet before they think, and one should be able to pour their > 140 but < 1000 characters honestly yet publicly.
because the older we get, somehow we share our pain and joy with fewer people.
that's where the presence of internet seems to be more inviting than ever. (youtube kittens!!!)

somehow that's true. most of your friends graduated, then either drowned with their post graduate activities (including dating, working, getting married, having a baby, etc.) , moved into another city or stay in the same place.

but they're drifting away.

so you'll have to find a new boat to sail.

that new boat could be your old acquintances, someone whom you never exchange more than 3 sentences to in college, yet somehow both of you fits better after graduation (read : work life).

that could be a new friends at work. A real friends, the one that you could go to a bar after work with and spill your 'oh why' life.

that could be your new-found circle, from something you tried recently ; like yoga class or cooking class or whatever class that suits your preferences.

it would be okay if you don't.
it would be great if you do.

theres nothing wrong with caving in with old friends, or even no one at all. (just in case everyone you know is leaving, which is highly unlikely yet somehow feels like they do).

but i'm telling you from the other side : having new circle is good. it's healthy. it's fun. it keeps you sane. it made your night feel less lonely. it gives you new hopes. it gives you something to look forward to. especially if you're single and feeling that there is nothing wrong with it, yet you're still asking yourself why you're single, and the answer "you just haven't found the right girl/guy yet" doesn't satisfy you. your heart is an empty room (in a good way) and painted in a beautiful colour. let your new circle fills your heart. with jokes and laughs, and every other feelings including anger and hatred, anything but boredom.

{let the next part be an openly internet public note to myself.}

because every fibre of my being is enjoying it.

and i kept telling myself not to pick, not to think.

but it felt wrong.

so i kept thinking and picking.

and every second i'm thinking and picking it's killing me.

and everytime i stop thinking or picking, someone is picking me.

and when i 'm feeling fine, they stop reeling and cut the strings.

they're thinking and picking too.

i'm affraid i've built a way too comfortable nest just for one.

but i want 'you' to try to fit in.

i want the renovation to be seamless and smooth.

please fit.

i do really want to stop thinking and picking.

and when i do, please help me stop.

not anyone,

only those whose willing to crawl into a way too comfortable nest just for one, then change it for two.

***it do took me 1,5 hour to write this post.

maybe that's why i write more here.